Porcupyn's Blog

October 30, 2007

To the Queen

Filed under: Uncategorized — Porcupyn @ 12:48 pm

Obviously, your citizens guard your English assiduously, which begs the question: how can a car be broke?

“It happened last (Monday) night, on the way from the airport to the hotel,” Murray told reporters.

“There was the driver, me and (coach) Brad (Gilbert). There was a lot of traffic. The driver did nothing wrong. He just broke and somebody, driving at around 20 km/h, bumped into the back of the car.”

October 25, 2007

The Snake

Filed under: Uncategorized — Porcupyn @ 10:03 pm

Ever played Snake and Ladder? Yes, I mean Snake and Ladder, not the (child) psychologically correct Ladders and Chutes. Weren’t you scared of getting swallowed by the snake?

Well, guess what? The #2 ranking in the BCS is The Snake!

Go Hokies! 😉 [When I started this post, the Hokies were up 10-0 with 4 minutes to play; now the score is almost 10-14 with a minute left! Oh well …]

Postscript: I hate BC!

“But BC is bucking trends – the trend of second-ranked teams losing (it had happened three weeks in a row) and the trend of Virginia Tech dominating at home in Thursday night games. The Hokies were 8-1 on Thursday night in Lane Stadium before Ryan’s winning throw.”

October 18, 2007

A Riddle

Filed under: Uncategorized — Porcupyn @ 1:26 pm

A cricket team scores 18 runs in an ODI. What would you call such a team?

An Under-19 team, of course!

October 8, 2007

Nero Wolfe (a sampler)

Filed under: Uncategorized — Porcupyn @ 3:51 pm

Nero (Maury Chaykin) displays his micro-managerial skills with his chef.

[Update: It’s an irony of life: just when you think that no one can be nuttier than you on a certain theme, along comes someone on the internet.]

October 7, 2007

Doing its rounds on the internet …

Filed under: Uncategorized — Porcupyn @ 10:05 pm

… a bridge too far visits this space.

The Lord surveyed the Ram Setu and said “Hanuman, how diligently and
strenuously you and your vanara sena had built this bridge several centuries
back. It is remarkable that it has withstood the ravages of the climatic and
geographical changes over centuries. It is indeed an amazing feat especially considering the fact that a bridge at Hyderabad built by Gammon using latest technology collapsed the other day even before they could stick the posters
on its pillars.”

Hanuman with all humility spoke “Jai Sri Ram, it is all because of your grace. We just scribbled your name on the bricks and threw them in the sea and they held. No steel from TISCON or cement from Ambuja or ACC was ever used. But Lord, why rake up the old issue now.”

Ram spoke “Well, Hanuman some people down there want to demolish the bridge and construct a canal. The contract involves lot of money and lot of money will be made. They will make money on demolition and make more money on construction. ”

Hanuman humbly bowed down and said “Why not we go down and present our case”

Ram said “Times have changed since we were down there. They will ask us to submit age proof and we don’t have either a birth certificate or school leaving certificate. We traveled mainly on foot and some times in bullock carts and so we don’t have a driving license either. As far as the address proof is concerned the fact that I was born at Ayodhya is itself under litigation for over half a century, If I go in a traditional attire with bow and arrow, the ordinary folks may recognize me but Arjun Singh may take me to be some tribal and, at the most, offer a seat at IIT under the reserved category. Also, a God cannot walk in dressed in a three-piece suit and announce his arrival. It would make even the devotees suspicious. So it is dilemma so to say.”

“I can vouch for you by saying that I personally built the bridge.”
“My dear, Anjani putra, it will not work. They will ask you to produce the lay-out plan, the project details, including financial outlay and how the project cost was met and the completion certificate. Nothing is accepted without documentary evidence in India. You may cough but unless a doctor certifies it, you have no cough. A pensioner may present himself personally but the authorities do not take it as proof. He has to produce a life-certificate to prove that he is alive. It is that complicated.”

“Lord can’t understand these historians. Over the years you have given darshan once every hundred years to saints like Surdas, Tulsidas, Saint Thyagaraja, Jayadeva, Bhadrachala Ramdas and even Sant Tukaram and still they disbelieve your existence and say Ramayana is a myth. The only option, I see, is to re-enact Ramayana on earth and set the government records straight once for all.”

Lord smiled “It isn’t that easy today. Ravan is apprehensive that he may look like a saint in front of Karunanidhi. I also spoke to his mama Mareecha, who appeared as a golden deer to tempt Sita maiyya when I was in the forest and he said that he won’t take a chance of stepping on earth as long as Salman Khan is around.”

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